I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
