i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
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My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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