I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Your cock deserves a montage
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
