Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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