dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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