..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
