i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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