He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
