i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
