i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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