We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
