Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
