I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched a dick in church today
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize