Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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