nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
