sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
