Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize