just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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