Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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