My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
