i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
