and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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