Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
