so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
