When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize