in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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