my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
