Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
