I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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