Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The beer is more important than you right now.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
