I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
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Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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