Me too!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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