Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
