we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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