So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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