that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
