Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
