I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
How does one acquire holy water?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
