she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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