five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
