How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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