dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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