It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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