'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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