And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
