I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
