what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Found your dick twin last night
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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