did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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