I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize