Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
