pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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