Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
