Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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