Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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