Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Panties = found
Randomize
