My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
