I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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