weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
