Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
