its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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