Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
