i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You took a bar mat shot.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
tell me about the fingering
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