I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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