well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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