Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You did what with his pubic hair?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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