Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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