You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize